Criticism: the Dream Crusher

CRITICISM, ANOTHER DREAM CRUSHER

I have been enjoying my meadow walk and the exercise of letting go of imaginary fears. I feel free and capable of running to the foothills of the next peak on my journey of self discovery.

As I approach the foothills the terrain is beginning to become rugged, stony and littered with sticks. The remains of a storm perhaps.

The wind is picking up and a eerie whistling sound vibrates through the trees. The whisper turns into a faint chant like voice. Is it saying " Turn back, you'll never make it, you don't have what it takes to go where the brave ones travel?

Louder it howls, you're not smart enough, you're not fit enough, you will fail and look like a loser." I cover my ears but I still hear the chanting deep inside, taking a strong grip on me.

The stones are beginning to fall from the hillside and dust and dirt is stinging my skin. I must run and hide and protect myself from this storm. I see a cave in the side of a hill, it's dark and lonely feeling, but at least I don't have to hear the wind anymore.

I fall asleep sitting just inside the opening and begin to dream.... I am back in time, I can hear the voice of my fourth grade teacher Mrs Elizabeth reading from Little House On The Prairie.

My head is resting on my desk as I slip into the story.

What a wonderful family, so much love and devotion to each other. I wish for a life like that. I feel so unsure of myself and lost in the shuffle of my family. I have no identity, validation. Children are to be seen and not heard my father says.

Oh, to have been Laura Ingles Wilder. I can feel the love in the story and in Mrs Elizabeth's voice. Why does my mother scare me instead of soothe me like Mrs Elizabeth?

The school bell rings and I wake up from my dream; the sun is shining outside. The wind has subsided.

This woodland represents the times in my life that I have been a victim of cruel words. I remember the old rhyme of sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never harm you. Who wrote that?

I have felt the sting of many words. Why is it so much easier to spew negative banter to loved ones than it is for families to speak to each other with love and respect? The neighbor receives more cordiality than wives and husbands give to each other.

How many children do their best but it's not enough. Never hearing "good job, we are so proud of you ". Too often this cripples the young spirit and we learn to withdraw, escape, and quit trying- dream crushing blows.

Steven S. Scott writes in his book Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams; . " To over come the pain of criticism we must stand firm and planted in knowing we have a choice of how we will react."

A healthy response would be to respond " I will take that into consideration" and to then do so.

Consider the source, the accuracy and what has been said. This should lead us to a response that is an opportunity to grow and mature.